In this article, I want to talk about something that concerns both ostomates and other people, as you probably felt the same as me at one point or another. I am indeed talking about one of the world’s biggest bête noire, self-esteem!

When I was younger, I never really thought about my weight or what I looked like. I had a good appetite and had nice cheeks… I think it’s in my DNA: I like to eat. However, everything changed a lot towards the end of elementary school, when I received my Crohn’s disease diagnosis.

At first, I was given big doses of cortisone to treat the disease. My face became really swollen because of this. It made me realize that I was different from the others, and it made me really sad. Because of the disease, my weight changed a lot throughout high school. Either I was really skinny when I had a relapse and I was sick, or I was gaining weight and my face swollen because of the big doses of cortisone. I think the worst moment I went through was during my fourth year of high school. After a relapse, I had gained a lot of weight because I was eating poorly. I didn’t really take care of my health because I had no energy. This happened a year after my mom died, and I didn’t feel like doing anything. I went to see my gastroenterologist for a follow-up, and she made me realize where I was headed. I was really sad and had very little confidence in myself and the person I was. I made a lot of changes and got my act together. Some traces of these difficult times still remain in my head, and they’re difficult to forget.

My bad self-confidence of the time is one of the reasons I was so afraid to have surgery and have a stoma. If I loved me so little at the time of my life, how would I do with a stoma? When I decided to have surgery and I talked to my family and friends of my decision, many were scared for me. They were afraid I would not accept it, but my decision was made and I was ready to accept.

 “Self-esteem is the reputation we acquire with ourselves.”

-Nathaniel Branden

I never thought it’d be possible, but I think that I got a self-esteem boost after my surgery. I feel good about myself and now I accept the person I am and the person I become more. A lot of things helped me make it here, and I still have a long ways to go, but now there’s a lot more serenity, positivity and love towards the person I am and the person I show to others around me in my life. I met incredible friends who love me and show me my worth. I never expected to meet my boyfriend, but he makes me so happy. What we share is strong and great and helps me push my own limits. Meeting the ANA team is a key element of my transformation. Writing articles to share my experiences and help or motivate others brings me joy.

I’m not saying I can give anyone tips on self-esteem, but I think that when you learn to love yourself for who you are and not for who people want you to be, the weight on your shoulders disappears, and it is a wonderful achievement.

Élisabeth

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