Illness is a warning given to us to remind us of the essentials - Tibetan proverb

[Part 2]

My gastroenterologist explained my two options to me in detail. First, I could benefit from an injection treatment called Remicade. That treatment would involve some risks and be very expensive. On the other hand, I could immediately undergo the surgery, which consisted of a subtotal colectomy with end ileostomy. This one could be permanent or temporary, depending on the results of the pathology.

I had to assimilate all this information and my partner had to check with our insurance company if the intravenous treatment would be reimbursed. We discussed these two possibilities together, calmly, and their pros and cons. At this point, my only obsession was not to suffer anymore. However, since there are various colon diseases in my family and I’ve an uncle with a permanent ostomy, I knew what it would be like. Quite honestly, at 31, I couldn’t see myself with a little bag attached to my belly forever. So, I chose Remicade, which was totally refunded by our insurance. What did I have to lose?

Unfortunately, this treatment failed in my case. It wasn’t a question of effectiveness; my colitis had worsened. I ended up with peritonitis, which required an emergency surgery (ileostomy). My regular surgeon, whom I already knew well, had just finished a 16-hour shift so my only option was the one who was there. Leaning and suffering against the doorframe, it was a question of time, not of choice. During my surgery, no surgical drain was inserted. A week later, I then required another emergency surgery because an abdominal abscess had just burst. When I got out of the hospital, I weighed 90 pounds, was painfully thin, weak and had an ileostomy.

It must be admitted that I got through this with antidepressants because the shock was difficult to manage. Thank God! I have an amazing spouse who kept telling me that he loved me and that my ostomy was invisible to him. My children and parents told me how happy they were that I had come home; they still had their mother and child, even if I almost died twice. For almost a year, I had to adapt to my new situation. I had to reconnect with myself and my emotions. I‘m a holistic therapist, but I needed to listen to my own advice... I needed to use trial and error for food, I needed to buy clothes better adapted for my ostomy, needed to coordinate my new hygiene needs with my outings, and especially, needed to ACCEPT THE SITUATION.

 [To be continued in my 3rd article...]

Cindy

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