During the last few years, I had the chance to meet a lot of ostomates. I noticed that a lot of their stories were similar, but they were also unique at the same time. I wanted to share with you the point of view of our collaborators on certain questions. This is what these quarterly alternative articles will aim to do. Today we are sharing the first one about the fears everyone had before their surgery.

I was afraid of having my stomach opened and have someone play in there. I was afraid my boyfriend would leave me after the surgery, and I felt like delaying my entry into university was a failure.

Here are the things our collaborators feared.

I was afraid I would never be intimate with someone or be in a relationship again. The guy I was dating at the time told me that my next boyfriend would probably love me for who I am. His words hurt so much. He made me believe I’d never be in a relationship again, nor be intimate with someone again. I’d given up on all that.
- Geneviève B.

I was afraid of being rejected and being different. Because I am single, I doubted someone could like me when I have a pouch on my stomach. But after reading blogs, I quickly realized that it’s not true, and for someone to love me, I need to learn to accept and love myself first.
- Joannie

A lot of things scared me before my surgery. I think I was mostly afraid of what others would think of me, because my pouch meant that I was not going to be like everyone else.
- Élisabeth

My biggest fear was death. I wasn’t ready for the surgery and I never saw it coming. One day, my doctor told me: “I’d rather see you on my operating table than six feet under.” That’s when I realised it became a matter of life and death.
- Laurie-Anne

My surgery was for rectal cancer. I was afraid my cancer had spread, and that the doctors would find out during my surgery. As for my ileostomy, I was afraid of hating it and never accepting it.
- Valérie

At first, I thought I wasn’t afraid of anything. On the day before surgery, I was afraid of something going wrong while I was being operated on.
- Samuel

At first, getting surgery was kind of an activity to me, but as I grew older, I started fearing it more. I always think about not waking up. After 27 surgeries, you get used to it.
- Kimberly

I was wondering if I’d be able to do everything I was used to doing before my surgery, since I’m an active father and an avid sportsman. But I decided I’d take control of my life after the surgery.
- Nicolas

Strangely, before my surgery, I was only afraid of one thing: How would I be able to finish my school year while recovering? To me, finishing one year later was out of the question. I only had one day to get ready for the surgery, because it was an emergency operation. Before my surgery, I had a courage boost. I wasn’t afraid of the surgery, the pain or the pouch… I couldn’t take living like I was anymore.
- Stéphanie S.

My biggest fear was having to change my pouch by myself. At first, I wouldn’t even look when someone was changing it. When I only had my stoma left, I started taking care of myself. 5 weeks after my surgery, I was changing my pouch by myself. 
- Anick

We’ll see you on our next alternative article: How did I react when I first saw my ostomy?

Andréanne