ENOUGH!
Everyone who knows me knows that I'm really in touch with my emotions. I experience them very intensely... and yes, I cry a lot! The day I decided to undergo surgery was no exception to this rule.
In November 2012, I visited my doctor in Sherbrooke. I told him I’d just recovered from Shingles, a disease affecting people aged 50 and over, and I was getting more and more tired. I looked in his eyes, and I just knew he would talk about surgery again. Ever since my first meeting with doctors in Sainte-Justine, they would always tell me about undergoing surgery. I’d start to cry, because I didn't want to. Whenever they said "bag", I imagined myself with a plastic bag on my belly. I was scared as I didn't know what the surgery was exactly.
For the first time in my life, during a meeting in November, I thought of the possibility of undergoing surgery. My doctor told me: "Élisabeth, how far are you willing to go with treatments before it completely affects your quality of life?" She had just casted a doubt in my mind. She was right. My health was deteriorating and risks of infection were rising, despite the larger drug doses I was taking. We even tried a new one, which unfortunately didn't work.
After Christmas holidays, I had to be urgently treated for a skin infection that had invaded my entire body. I was exhausted. Taking a walk and showering were big challenges for me. I will always remember when the doctor sat on my bed and asked me what I wanted to do now. I finally agreed to undergo surgery, and then I burst into tears. How could I live with a stoma at 20 years old? How would I explain it to everyone around me? When I called my father, he disagreed with my decision. He wanted us to keep trying... but it was too late for me. I had tried everything I could. I wasn’t surrendering; rather, I wanted to keep fighting. There was a 90% chance of the disease never coming back if I underwent surgery. I decided to hang on to this chance.
When I left the hospital, I started educating myself on the subject. I met ET nurses, I watched videos, and I was put in touch with the wonderful Andréanne, who is also a collaborator of the blog. Our e-mail exchanges really helped me accept my decision. Seeing all the positive things the stoma had brought in her life, and hearing about the quality of life she had regained... I wanted the same thing!
I had to have surgery earlier than planned, on February 9th, 2013, as my health deteriorated faster than expected. This date, to me, is a milestone birthday that changed my life as thanks to the surgery, I have now regained control of my life.