You, me & her
For a long time, I thought having sex and being an ostomate couldn’t be in the same sentence. Though, I’m now reconsidering my position. If you are like me, it might be one of your preoccupations as well, or even a major source of stress. Let's tell each other the truth:
I guess ostomy supply manufacturers are doing their best, but wearing ostomy equipment isn’t sexy or attractive at all.
Having to deal with a bag that can fill up at any moment because you don't have an on-off button is tough.
You never aspired to have an ostomy in your life. Sexually speaking, it won't be exactly the same as before.
Even if you cry all the tears in the world, it won't change; sexuality remains a physiological need and wanting to fulfill it is normal. You might think otherwise at one point, but don't make yourself abstain from having sex. Don't be defeated so easily; you’re entitled to a fulfilled sex life, even if it’s the result of a long and challenging process of acceptance (I’ll write about that too later!). Becoming an ostomate, you surely have been in a worse situation once in your life. Remember what you looked like in your hospital gown and I’m sure you’ll find yourself prettier today.
As every problem should come with a solution (which pleases us), here are the ones I prefer when I share an intimate moment with my boyfriend. Sorry men, my suggestions might not be ideal for you.
Wearing an ANA bodywrap is of great use. One style is sold in two colors, another is made of lace. It’s perfect! As for me, I wear one when my sexual desires are clear. Adapted panties have become a necessity in my everyday life, but I don’t wear a bodywrap every day. It has a very specific function to me (and my boyfriend), and it gives me absolute confidence.
Wearing a cami top. Yep, the little black spandex camisole lying in the back of our drawers. I found a second use for it. First of all, I use it as a pajama top. Besides, as it fits my body, I move it over my ostomy equipment to hold it when it gets to the time to take my panties off. Of course, I don't do gymnastics in bed like this, but let's just say it allows me to better enjoy my unplanned sexual desires at night.
I know the list isn't exhaustive! Do you have other ways to feel good about yourself in bed? Share it with us!
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