I LOVE YOU EVEN...

I love you even though your body is different. I love you even if you’re mad, sad, or tired. I love you even though you will need time to physically and mentally heal. I love you even though I don’t understand everything that’s going on inside of you. I love you even though I don’t always find the right words to comfort you. I love you even though I find it hard sometimes to see you be uncomfortable with your new body. I love you even when you are disheartened and vulnerable. I love you even when you’re irritable and have mood swings. I love you even when you want to be like everyone else. I love you even when you doubt I can love you the way you are. I love you even though I find it hard to support you sometimes. I love you for who you are and I’m grateful because this ordeal—that you can’t accept easily—will allow us to continue on together for as long as we want. If you could see everything beautiful I see in you, you too would be able to say, “I love myself, even though I have an ostomy.”

Your partner is a great ally in the process of adapting to your new body. They can’t go through the steps for you, but they can help by listening to you, being there for you and by accepting changes. By telling you everything they like about you, your partner shows you that they don’t want anyone else by their side. Note that it’s hard for some partners to accompany you through the process of adapting to your new body. They also need a way to express themselves and get the support they need, as they also have concerns and experience certain emotions. It’s necessary to take breaks to avoid exhaustion, and to be able to continue supporting your partner. Both of you will have to go through this acceptance process.

Just remember that accepting something does not mean giving up. Accepting something means doing something. You adopt a realistic attitude and choose to live a life full of experiences, with your new body. Acceptance may also lie in the choice to continue on together, and to achieve a relationship that is true to yourself and your stoma.

Lise Laflamme
Sexologist

Brought to you by : Hollister