After my ileostomy surgery, my body got in better shape, but not my head and heart. I was feeling like a stranger in my own body and I quickly realized that I was going to need some help.

Before finding the right ostomy equipment for me, I had to do several trials and make many purchases. I spent a lot of time at my ostomy product retailer, enough time to be called by my first name. At that place, I was privileged to meet a member of the customer service team, Christine. She’s extremely generous and has infinite patience to answer my questions. I felt better when I spoke to her, but obviously, I couldn’t burst into tears at the service counter every time I was there. Together, we talked about ANA’s products. When I got home, I looked at their website and I fell for their blog. In front of my screen, I felt less lonely. I found tips and tricks that allowed me to overcome some personal difficulties, which represented a huge mountain to me at that time.

Later, I went to an event organized by my ostomy product retailer and I headed to the ANA table. Marie-Noël was there to represent the company. I only knew her from her articles on the blog. I spoke to her and my eyes filled with tears quickly. I felt understood when speaking to her. I didn’t really believe that an ignorant person, as she called herself in one of her articles, could understand me, but she did. We talked about the contributors’ participation on the blog and she gave me her business card. Happy with my meeting, I went back home. On my way back, I considered her collaboration offer; I was flattered, but it wasn’t for me. The blog didn’t need my negativity.

Every time I felt less motivated or more discouraged, I went on the blog. Reading was lessening my pain. I tried several sorts of consultation to help me psychologically, but nothing helped. I had trouble verbalizing my struggles in the specific time period of my appointments. I couldn’t schedule my sadness in a time slot. The blog was so comforting, always there when I needed it.

A few weeks later, at the height of my despair, Marie-Noël contacted me. Being a blog contributor was a challenge for me. I clearly had to be better in my head, to feel the same as the person I was able to project. Her message was probably a sign that I had to keep my morale. “Writing has a liberating effect”, she had written to me. With the help of three very specific things: a box of tissues, a pencil and paper, I succeeded in doing so. To tell the truth, I literally vomited what I had in my head. No rough draft, no scribbling, lots of tears and a comforting relief. The externalization of the black ball I was pulling around like a cannonball was what I needed. Writing created a void, THE long-awaited void. The paper version of my story was the key to my well-being. My solution was right under my eyes, but I was so overwhelmed that I couldn’t see anything.

I finally sent Marie-Noël my story without hesitation. Writing my story, my experience, and sharing it with people helps me a lot. Who knows? It might help someone else too!

Joannie S.

Brought to you by: ANA