I WAS READY TO DIE
Can life be simple? I wondered about this in 2012 and 2013, and I understood that my life would never be simple. Have you ever found yourself cornered and have people tell you that if you don't get surgery it'll be the end for you? I'd like to tell you it never happened to me, but I went through multiple periods where I asked myself a lot of questions and didn't understand what was going on. That is when the words "enjoy your life" took on their full meaning for me. After learning about my 27th surgery, I felt like I was stuck between the choice I was making and the one my family made. My mind was elsewhere, and I felt lost and sad. I didn't know how to tell my family I was not undergoing surgery. How can you look your loved ones in the eye and tell them you are ready to die? How would you react if someone you know would tell you this?
My family and friends went through a wide range of emotions, like incomprehension, frustration, fear and sadness. My mom would tell me I was selfish, and she'd hide to cry. Looking her in the eye was incredibly hard for me, because I could see how sad she was. As for me, I didn't feel anything anymore. I'd tell my family they were the ones being selfish. That no one could understand what I was going through nor feel the pain I had been dealing with 24 hours a day, 7 days a weeks for six years. I wasn't ready for this. I just wanted to stop suffering. I believed that it was the best choice for me. What you don't know is that I am a hard head and incredibly stubborn. No wonder my astrological sign is Aries.
My body had given up and I'd decided to follow suit. I was tired of suffering. I was living in a dark world where everything was negative. I think I'm lucky, and the reason I am writing this today is because I've always had a wonderful family and great friends to support me. My friends helped me to get out of my bubble, and they slowly dragged me out of the darkness. When I wanted to give up and when I kept crying and when I had no quality of life left, they made me realise that I still had many great moments to come. My family made me understand that after everything I'd been through, it was inconceivable for me to stop fighting now.
I'll never be able to thank my family and friends enough. Despite the darkness, I decided to roll up my sleeves and undergo surgery for them. This surgery was the worst one on my morale, but I don't regret it one bit. Now I can live my life to the fullest. Don't be afraid of breaking down and wanting to give up. Moments like these will be part of your life, so don't be ashamed of them. The strongest people are not those who didn't give up, they are those who got back on their feet after hardship. You can cry, be sick of everything and want to give up, but when it happens, talk to your family. Try to look for the positives things that occured during your day, even if they're small. Take it one day at a time and don't lose hope, because while there is life, there is hope. I shared this story with you to show you that everyone can be sad and exhausted and not have the strength to fight. However, everyone can move forward. It's when you roll up your sleeves and win this fight that you become even stronger.
Ever since I underwent my 27th surgery, I have been living my life to the fullest, I am a bundle of energy, and I'm always smiling because I truly love life. I'm strong, I'm alive, and I'm happy.
My advice is to live your life to the fullest, take it one day at a time, and kick your disease's butt because you're stronger than it. You deserve to live fully, and you have many more great things to experience.
I leave you on this Bob Marley’s quote: ‘’You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice.”
Brought to you by : Ultra Medic
