ADAPT TO A STOMA
After my surgery I had multiple concerns, and it is in my humble opinion perfectly natural. You need to get used to your new appearance and take care of your new ostomy. Back then, the thing I feared the most was changing my pouch. I was convinced I'd never be able to take care of the intruder on the right side of my stomach. Despite that, five weeks after my surgery, I was taking care of my urostomy by myself. I was becoming more independent.
I was still pretty shocked after all this, but it didn't hurt anymore, and I didn't fear going to pee anymore. What a relief! I'd won my battle, I was sill alive and I could finally go back to a normal life. Thanks to my urostomy, I could finally move on with a smile and the relief of not suffering anymore. If I'd again have to make the choice between live with all the pain or become an ostomate, I would make the same one. I would choose the urostomy.
I was lucky to be able return to a functional life and be autonomous. You have to take care of both your body and your mental health. Don't forget that through our journey, we experience a wide range of intense emotions. Like on a roller coaster ride, we go through highs and lows. After my surgery I was sad and scared, so I withdrew into myself. I felt like I was only creating uneasiness for the people around me, so I learned to hide my emotions.
I am really grateful for the people around me being great listeners and doing everything they could to help me get used to my appearance. They supported me and cheered me on. To cheer me on, they'd say things like "you're lucky to be alive", "you're doing great", "you're not suffering anymore" and mostly "it doesn't even show". It was all true. Had I been in their shoes, I would've said the exact same things.
While I was doing okay on the physical side, I wasn't doing so great on the mental side. I had trouble getting used to my new appearance. No one notices, but it's something that's hard to go through. We also have relationships, and we need to show more during intimate moments. During intimate moments, our confidence level isn't the same as when we wear clothes. We need to take the time to accept the changes we went through. We also need to remember that the surgery allowed us to stay alive and go back to a normal life. Resilience is one of our most important allies, because we need time to learn to accept and love ourselves. You need to work on yourself to accept yourself, but it is definitely worth it.
My urostomy and all the work I've done on myself allow me to share my experience with you. Don't be afraid to open up and talk to others about it.
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