OPERATION: ROAD TO DELIVERANCE
We constantly have to make choices throughout our lives. A few years ago, I had a choice to make: either get an ostomy and take a path that was completely unknown to me, or live with pain restricting the activities I could do. I would call this comfortable misfortune.
When making a choice, you will obviously gain something, but also lose something. Both things go together. You can choose the best option to the best of your knowledge, but each choice has its pros and cons. Every time, you have to ditch what you think is less important without really knowing if your decision will make you happier. Facing the unknown is really scary, but can it really be worse than my current condition? Basically, I’ve got everything to gain from making this choice, right?
As you can see, this isn’t a decision you can take lightly. After careful consideration, on June 15th, 1995, the life I’d always known disappeared. A new body, a new woman was born.
When I was 22 years old, I was living in Toronto and everything was possible. But after choosing to undergo surgery, I was convinced that I would never have sex again or find a man who would like my body… To offset these ridiculous thoughts, I had to rediscover my inner beauty. I’ll talk more about it in another article.
The surgery lasted 7 hours. I was pretty “banged up” inside, because of all the adhesions in my stomach. It’s like I had spider webs inside my body. The surgeon needed to be extra careful not to cut my bladder or any of my other organs. This was work for a great surgeon, and I believe I had the best one!
Everything went well. On the way to my room, still half asleep, I saw my mom waiting for me next to the door. I instinctively hid my stomach. I hid my stoma to protect her. I was strong, but she wasn’t. I knew this was hard for a mother to see, and I needed to protect her.
A few hours after the surgery, I was in my bed, still sleepy because of the anaesthesia. Then I heard footsteps coming towards me. When I opened my eyes, the first person I saw was a tough looking nurse twice as tall as me, who told me with her scary tone of voice: “Get up! You have to walk!”
That’s when I started questioning my decision, and I thought to myself: “Whoa, had I known I wouldn’t have made that choice…” Why? Because when you start walking again, the anaesthetic gas finds a brand new way to get out… I also had big cramps, and had to get used to the brand new device that was now stuck to me… for life! Really not the best choice!
The nurse really knew what she was doing. Because of her good care, she became my friend, my teacher; the fortress I will never forget. I still thank her for taking care of me during this intense, emotional moment of my life!
There are a lot of sacrifices to be made, but even more advantages to be gained. I don’t feel constant pain anymore. Now I can take long walks, do sport, travel, and do so many other things! And the most important thing: I can sleep through the night! I used to have to go to the bathroom 7 to 8 times a night. Having time to dream is amazing!
No more incontinence! I do my business where and when my bowels want to now. It’s very discreet, and there are no odours. It’s impossible to notice when the device used and cleaned properly.
Yes, my diet is fairly strict, but what woman has never been on a diet? It’s a good habit to get into, and you just have to replace certain foods by others that you like just as much. To be honest I have no problem with this.
This is the choice I made, even though it’s scary. The unknown is frightening, as I’ve said before, but know that if I had to do it all again, I would do it the same way. Otherwise I would’ve missed the opportunity of a lifetime… of my new life!